Animals Are In Danger and God Is Smiling.

Answers in Genesis is building a Noah’s Ark theme park in Kentucky, an adjunct to their terribly misguided Creationism Museum. The whole concept is pretty silly. There will be just a large, supposedly to scale (according to the measurements given in the Bible anyway) ark. That’s pretty much it, except for lots of money pits concession stands, gift shops, etc, where visitors can be bilked out of spend their money.

So far, the only really controversial aspect of the operation has been that they will be getting state funds to help them build it. I’m not going to talk about that because, even though I’m opposed to the use of Government money being spent on a clearly religious undertaking, no real harm is being done (except for the people’s of Kentucky tax dollars being wasted on this when it cold be put to better use).

As we learn more about the project, we begin to see the typical bible-thumping Christian callous disregard for anything other than their faith and a chosen few, holier than thou morons. In this case, as Bug Girl has explained so well at skepchick.org, these arrogant know-nothings are planning on filling this ark of theirs with real wild animals. And not just your standard adult wild animals that you would see at any zoo, but juveniles.

You see, these brainiacs have figured that, in order to actually fit all the animals that needed to fit into the ark, their god must have send juveniles, two of each, to Noah (you see, they are smaller and take up less space). Wasn’t god smart?! (Imagine putting a couple of hundred middle schoolers and making them live in 3 x 5 cubicles until they grow so tall that their feet are sticking out into the aisles when they sleep and you have sort of an idea of what it might be like).

Of course, as Bug Girl accurately points out, little critters have a tendency to grow into big critters. While this might have worked for Noah, who was presumably not out to sea long enough for these little guys to grow too big to handle (not to mention too big to actually fit in the damn ark anymore), it would seem to be a potential problem for the geniuses at Answers in Genesis. What, exactly, do they plan on doing with all these cute little animals when they grow too big for their cages? And what is the plan to replenish them with new juveniles? And that is just for starters.

These animals need to be taken care of. These are wild animals, not little gerbils that can comfortably live in a cage. They need the proper habitats to live and thrive in. They are going to be stuffing these poor things into pens, where they will supposedly stay all day long, day in and day out. Maybe they are going to buy four of everything so that they can rotate them in and out ever few hours so that their muscles don’t atrophy.

Then again, this is making the assumption that their idiotic beneficent handlers actually give a crap about the animals’ well-being. Considering that most of them tend to be the “God gave them to us to use however we damn well please” types, rather than the beneficent caretaker (think shepherd, you know, like shepherd of the flock. You’d think these boozes would have that concept down pat what with the references to lambs and flocks strewn throughout their literature).

I am hoping that reason and sanity will eventually prevail and none of this inhumane stupidity comes to pass. But wether it does or not come to pass, that doesn’t take away from the fact that these arrogant puffer fish, full of their pompous self-righteousness, don’t see the logistical nightmare that is involved in taking care of large populations of wild animals, and most likely don’t really care. After all, according to their fairy tale book, their god gave mankind the dominion over all the animals of the earth. Not responsibility, which connotes a certain amount of, well, responsibility. No, the operative word here is “dominion”, which means to dominate, which implies submission of something, in this case, the animals. So the animals submit to the will of men, which in this case, means being stuck in a pen from childhood until you grow large enough to no longer be of use. The opportunities for abuse are countless.

I would suggest getting the ASPCA, the Humane Society and (gag) PETA involved to fight this plan. If anyone out there knows how to get a petition drive started to bring attention to this, let me know and lets do it, before any animal has to suffer.

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