It’s Been A Long Time!

I really don’t expect anyone to be reading this. This is something I am doing for myself. It may even be one of the most important things I have ever written. Why, because I haven’t posted anything here just over three years. Why? Depression, new job, depression, marriage, depression. Yeah, that last one, that was the biggie.

I’ve mentioned before that I suffer from depression, bipolar II and anxiety. I’ve talked about how these maladies affect everything I do and experience. I was a pretty avid blogger for about three years, but then mental illness hit hard. I stopped writing this blog because my bipolar II was getting to be just about at its worse and I hadn’t been diagnosed at that time. Fortunately I did get diagnosed and got on the right meds and therapy which finally allowed me to regain some semblance of control over my life.

One of the consequences that comes along with my mental health issues is ADD. This is really more of a byproduct of depression and bipolar than a separate illness. Other things that impact my attention, or perhaps I should say my inattention, are sleep apnea and shift work, both of which I deal with. So all of these things conspired to keep me from blogging when I really did want to, but just couldn’t find the energy or sustained interest to do so.

This affected my blogging at Grounded Parents as well. I just posted my first post there in a year and a half. 

I realize that this post is disjointed and not anywhere near the quality of writing that I am used to producing, but over three years of not writing will do that. I’m hoping that this is the beginning of a trek back to blogging and writing, which has always been one of my first and truest loves. 


Books, Music, and Life in Genral

I’m listening to The Beatles “Abbey Road”. “Here Comes the Sun” right now. If you like The Beatles and you have all their recordings (as I do), listen starting with the “Please Please Me” and go in cronologic order until you reach “Abbey Road”. It will blow your mind. Oh, listen to then on Bose headphones. You’ll get a fanatic aural experience. If you don’t have Bose and you love Music, spend the extra $$$ (About $120. Worth every penny. Try Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” first. Amazing!

No job yet. I’m waiting to hear back from one company in Ohio. I could work remote from home. $80,000, no benefits, so after arranging for my own, I’d be taking home about what was at my last job.

I’ve been out of one of my psyho meds for about a month. At $197 for a month’s supply, it’s a big chunk of my limited finances. I really need them. Without them, I go from cranky to angry outbursts to uncontrollable tears. Now I understand how the poor and unemployed can’t hold down a job.

Nebraska gives virtually nothing to adults for Medicaid. We’d have to rack up $1100 dollars a month before they a penny. With a total monthly income of Barely $200, this would bankrupt us.

I’m lucky, I can go to the VA. My wife on the hand has nothing. Everything is out of pocket.


Hey, the “Abbey Road” CD left of “Her Majesty”. Bastards!

Pink Floyd Brings World Peace (kind of)

We went shopping at the mall tonight, the whole family. The kids went off their way and the wife and I went ours.

After an hour or so, we met up with the kids at Hot Topic. My wife picked out a necklace, and the kids various clothing and halloween costumery. I found a pair of Batman earrings and a cool Pink Floyd “Dark Side of the Moon” t-shirt.

The clerk was a tall, thin, dark haired guy in his late 20′ or early 30’s, with cool tattoos up and down both arms.

As he was ringing me up, he mentioned that he really like the Floyd t-shirt. This lead us into a discussion about how much we both liked Pink Floyd. It came out in our discussion that his favorite Floyd album is “The Wall”. I told him of this great CD I’d just got of Pink Floyd playing the entire album live. Unfortunately, I couldn’t remember the name of the album.

We chatted for a few minutes more, as he rang us up, about how we both play guitar and practically worship David Gilmore.

After leaving the store, I suddenly remembered the name of the album. I told the family to that I’d catch up to them and hurried back to Hot Topic and told the clerk the name of the album, “Is There Anybody Out There”.

Their was a kid, maybe 18 or 19 standing by the counter, a kind of geeky looking guy with ear buds in his ears. Upon hearing my comment to the clerk, he immediately chimed in and said that there was a Pink Floyd DVD of the same concert (something I didn’t know).

I think I replied, “Wow! Awesome!” or something to that effect. The clerk thanked me, seemingly truly grateful that I’d returned to tell him the name of the CD. The young guy had already gone about his business of shopping.

As I hurried back to my family, I was struck that, for a moment, three strangers from three successive generations were all suddenly able to make a connection stemming from a shared love for the same music. It reminded me that music, perhaps more than any other of the arts, has the ability to transcend age, race, nationality, and language, and unite people in ways no philosophy or faith can.

So, in the interest of world peace and harmony, turn up the volume and rock on!